i’ve been lucky in that i’ve lived in cities that were large enough that i was able to have some choice about who i saw, in terms of what was covered by my health insurance. or, when i didn’t have therapy covered by health insurance, that i was in a city with really good community mental health services, so i could still see someone i could afford.

there have been times, even then, when i considered dropping therapy because it was expensive (when you make $600/month, shelling out $60/month in copays is a substantial part of your income).

i don’t know what i’d do if my insurance changed so it no longer covered my current therapist.

but i just wouldn’t go into debt for therapy. i would either do without–i have lots of skills, and can manage much of what i get in therapy on my own as well. or i would find someone who was covered by my insurance, or had a sliding scale, or something like that. or i’d look into the cheaper alternatives, like a mental health clinic. a lot, it would depend on what my needs were at the time.

but then there’s the first part of this question: is the cost of therapy worth it? i think that if you’re not going into debt because of it, regardless of how much you’re spending, if it is helping you, then it is worth it. when it’s within your budget, i think that even therapy that feels mediocre can be a help. just because a therapist isn’t a perfect match, doesn’t mean they can’t give you tools you didn’t already have, or give you a sounding board for figuring things out.

and when they *are* a good match, then it’s pretty much priceless. and it’s hard for me to put my finger on exactly what it is. i mean, i have friends who are lcsw’s, and used to spend a lot of time doing crisis counseling and longer-term counseling myself. so it’s not like i can’t predict 90% of what my therapist will say or do, and it’s not like i can’t do those things for myself. but somehow, building the relationship with *her*, and with various parts getting to the point where they can trust her enough that they don’t automatically give the “right” answers (like pretending the things that are supposed to help have helped, even when they haven’t)…. well, it’s made a big difference.

I am thankful though, because last year I had to tell my counselor (C) that I could only afford 15 minutes at the regular fee. So I said I would come for 15 minutes or just not at all. My C didn’t feel good about this at all and had no problem reducing the cost for me during this time of financial struggle. I am thankful that my C saw beyond the money to me. It actually helped me trust C more, because now I know that C is in this for the long run with me.

Also, it looks like things are changing for me financially, and I think I will be able to start paying the regular fee again. I’ll be glad to give my C the regular fee. C deserves it!