How does the trauma you experienced in the past, relate to any dreams or flashbacks you’ve experienced? Are they connected? And/or how do you feel about any dreams or flashbacks you’ve experienced?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
Well – I brought this topic up, and have been polling just about anyone I know with regard to it. I have had many dreams over the last 14 years- nightmares, daymares – intrusions in my sleep or in the day – that have been disturbing.
I also have NO memory of any abuse by my father, yet he seems to be a VERY possible abuser – based on who he is, and based on my symptoms, which have also included dreams with him being sexual with me. In particular, dreams where I am young, and he is engaging with me sexually. …. so ya, sexual abuse.
So – since I have NO MEMORY whatsoever, of him ever abusing me sexually – I still to this day, with-hold saying or fully believing, that he sexually abused me. I feel it’s a terrible thing to accuse someone falsely, even if they seem to be a rotten person who deserves it.
My dreams are one ‘proof’ to me, that he most likely did abuse me (one proof of many that I have). It has been interesting for me to hear others speak on this issue. People who KNOW they have NOT been abused by their fathers, have had sexual dreams with them – though I must say, the content and themes are different than mine. Overall though, they haven’t had more than maybe one, if any.
Arg…..
i have had things i thought were dreams that later turned out to be true… in this case, i’ve never had the ones that point to sexual abuse specifically confirmed, but there are other dreams i’ve had that feel the same as the sexual ones, and i can still remember conversations where someone in my family would say something like “oh, remember how _____ used to do _____ to j?” and i’d be sitting there thinking “but i thought that was just a *nightmare* i had.” it was weird.
but it’s also confusing, because i know that when i was little (and the little kid parts still) thought the problem was that they were having nightmares about monsters. and so they would pray every night to not get nightmares, and do all kinds of other things to not get nightmares. you know, like lock the bedroom door to not get nightmares…. so they are having a hard time with the realization that the “nightmares” can’t happen any more, because it wasn’t actually a nightmare, it was people, and if those people aren’t here, they can’t do those things any more.
so there’s a lot of conflict about believing things actually happened, and weren’t dreams. and there’s a big challenge in convincing younger parts that those things really *can’t* happen any more… which kind of requires them to believe that they weren’t dreams, you know? because if it’s just nightmares, then they *can* happen again. but if it was something that actual people did, then it can’t happen any more.
I have a lot of dreams about one person in particular that I KNOW didn’t have anything to do with me, I just suspect that the person that moved into that house later on DID. I have no memory of the second family that lived there, but I remember all of the other families that lived there.
Yet, I have this one reoccurring dream about this one person that I know did nothing to me.
Yay for transference.