Comments on: Boundaries http://www.new-landscape.com/2008/11/boundaries/ New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:08:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: jigsaw analogy--ellis http://www.new-landscape.com/2008/11/boundaries/comment-page-1/#comment-721 jigsaw analogy--ellis Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:49:35 +0000 http://www.new-landscape.com/?p=409#comment-721 i sometimes wonder exactly what "boundaries" means. some of it, i can guess. like it's setting boundaries when i tell someone which behavior i'm not going to accept from them, or when i state my own limits about something. but then... isn't there something more to it? i'm working on that balance between sharing my life with my partner and blending into a single entity, emotions-wise. it's hard, because she resists boundaries, and then i feel guilty for setting them. but we also have some good ones, at least compared to couples we observe. so it's hard to say. it's complicated, spending time with other people! boundaries in therapy are easier for me. i'm much more distant from my therapist than i am from my partner, and the "rules" for our interactions are much more clearly stated. i sometimes wonder exactly what “boundaries” means. some of it, i can guess. like it’s setting boundaries when i tell someone which behavior i’m not going to accept from them, or when i state my own limits about something. but then… isn’t there something more to it?

i’m working on that balance between sharing my life with my partner and blending into a single entity, emotions-wise. it’s hard, because she resists boundaries, and then i feel guilty for setting them. but we also have some good ones, at least compared to couples we observe. so it’s hard to say.

it’s complicated, spending time with other people!

boundaries in therapy are easier for me. i’m much more distant from my therapist than i am from my partner, and the “rules” for our interactions are much more clearly stated.

]]> By: chariots http://www.new-landscape.com/2008/11/boundaries/comment-page-1/#comment-720 chariots Tue, 02 Dec 2008 10:55:19 +0000 http://www.new-landscape.com/?p=409#comment-720 Being married - finding boundary lines........ uhhhhhh......??? It's hard. How can things he does have such a drastic effect on me? How come I get so mad? Is it "him" or is it "me"? Seems really hard to figure that out sometimes. Is it his craziness or mine? Where's the line? And if I can ever find it - what in the world do I do about it? I think I've spent lots of nights (this is one of them) struggling over feelings with regard to my husband. And I think boundaries are involved here somehow. When you're married, your lives mix. It's not so easy to just draw a line and stand on either side. We are stuck with each other in so many ways - and I think we're supposed to be. That's how it's supposed to go. We ARE suppose to become part of one another..... yet still keep some separate identity (identities??!) too. His pain becomes mine, and mine his - his joy becomes mine, and mine his... ..... and sometimes it makes me wanna SCREAMM!!!! Being married – finding boundary lines…….. uhhhhhh……??? It’s hard. How can things he does have such a drastic effect on me? How come I get so mad? Is it “him” or is it “me”? Seems really hard to figure that out sometimes. Is it his craziness or mine? Where’s the line? And if I can ever find it – what in the world do I do about it?

I think I’ve spent lots of nights (this is one of them) struggling over feelings with regard to my husband. And I think boundaries are involved here somehow.

When you’re married, your lives mix. It’s not so easy to just draw a line and stand on either side. We are stuck with each other in so many ways – and I think we’re supposed to be. That’s how it’s supposed to go. We ARE suppose to become part of one another….. yet still keep some separate identity (identities??!) too. His pain becomes mine, and mine his – his joy becomes mine, and mine his…

….. and sometimes it makes me wanna SCREAMM!!!!

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