Do you experience shame in the present, that you think really might be related to the past? Explain, or talk about anything else related to shame issues.
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
Hmm….. I experience shame with regard to sexual issues….. might be related to the past…..
I supposed I’ve also experienced shame with regard to – being a living breathing human on this planet. Like overall, that I’m shameful. A need to hide. Even though in so many ways I’ve been forced into the forefront – open to the scrutiny of all. Strange tug-o-war between wanting to be seen and wanting to hide at the same time.
Hm – my “Captcha” was “exceeding hope” !! I have actually been trying to hope this month. Interesting.
Most of my shame these days has to do with switching. When I feel like I’m about to switch, I jump up and down in my seat, bite my tongue, shake my head, hum, and rub my eyes.
Which is silly because most of the time when I do this I’m in therapy.
I swear I’m falling asleep, and my therapist says “so go to sleep.” and I’m like ‘HELL NO’.
I’m feeling somewhat stalled these days.
My captcha is apparently.. Mizzen. :p Should be “miserable”.
I get shame. Shame from being imperfect… but by “imperfect” I generally mean “able to cope with all of my problems in a healthy way, able to make progress in healing, able to communicate effectively” and things like that. I still *want* to be perfect in those ways. I hate having to admit that I can’t handle even simple things, even things that I’ve handled all my life.
I don’t precisely feel shame over being multiple, but I have to admit that there are times when I’m not really convinced that it’s true. I try not to have those times, but it’s hard.
I don’t know how much of the shame is related to the past, except that I know it was probably a good, very protective thing, for me to work so hard on being the kind of perfect I try to be. And feeling badly when I don’t accomplish that actually did me some good.
I tend to figure, though, that feelings might come from things in the past, but they are things that are working in the present as well… I guess with stuff like this, I don’t think of the past and present as being that far divided. Whether it’s from the past or not, I need to work through the reasons I feel something, and figure out a solution for it. Because whether the feelings start in the past or not, I’m dealing with them right now… I’m not sure that makes sense, but I’ll probably submit the comment anyways.
Ya. Like Chariots. I’m bad because I exist. I’m just bad and wrong to the core. It would be better for everyone if I just never was born. No wonder all of these parts came about.
Ahh, yes shame! well im a kid. (so no sex issues) Phew! and i really only have one alter and i wish she could come out stil lsometime but i feel ashamed and like she is fake so jsut keep her in there. because i cant run aroudn my house naked anymore saying I’m like Panda Woman…