19 thoughts on “US of Tara

  1. chariots

    I’m glad to see another alter! I was hoping there were more actually. And I’m hoping there are some younger ones too.

  2. jane

    Me too, but this one is being called “animalistic” . That is disturbing to me. I thought ET when I saw the red poncho.
    What do you think of the therapist?

  3. chariots

    The therapist! Ya – we don’t like her that well. She seems really stiff and pretentious or something. The first time she was shown we definitely didn’t like her at all. Reminded me of some perfectionistic staunchy teacher or librarian.

    They showed the therapist again the next time and this last time – and she seemed a little more likeable. Maybe they’ll warm her up a little more – and we will like her more. Hope so. A bad therapist would ruin the entire process in my opinion. Having a good – relate-able therapist seems really important.

  4. Maggie

    The therapist should not be talking to the husband unless Tara previously agreed.
    I find her a little condescending. I think she is trying to hang in and understand but maybe could use a little supervision. I’ll try to keep an open mind and remember it IS a TV show. But I do want it to be good and hope it will foster understanding.
    So I understand what jane is saying and you too. Yah, pretentious feels right. We’ll see…..

  5. jigsaw analogy--ellis

    well, it’s not so totally out of the ordinary for a therapist to be condescending and annoying. i know it took me a whole bunch of different therapists before i found a good one!

    i do like that they are showing another alter, since it seems to me that there would be more than the ones that were already on there. i also like how they’re handling it, since it kind of seems more like regular life (with DID).

    one thing i’ve been super curious about is the fact that everyone says that the trauma that caused tara to split happened when she was raped in boarding school, and it seems unlikely to me that a single traumatic event in someone’s teens would cause them to split.

    so the “poncho goblin” is interesting because it indicates some kind of tension between tara and her parents.

    i need to watch this week’s episode!

  6. Maggie

    By the way…I am Maggie. Meggie is one of our littles and I don’t want to be confused.
    First, I hope I wasn’t a spoiler. I may have gotten one show ahead of you. I think I get one future show cause we have Showtime.
    Anyway, I agree with the feeling that a trauma at college age caused a split where one of alters is a younger teenager. It doesn’t seem to fit. I also like that it does seem to be dealing with regular life with DID.
    And finally, you are so right about how challenging it is to find a good therapist. I am so glad after many tries that you found one.
    Like me know how you like the next show.

  7. jigsaw analogy--ellis

    we have showtime too, i just didn’t get around to watching the episode until monday. we record them, and then watch them when it’s not so late at night. i didn’t see any spoilers.

    i think it was boarding school, so that would match with T, but the thing is… i just can’t think that one experience in her teens would’ve made her multiple.

    as for that therapist on the show. oooooh, i do NOT like her. not at all. there’s just something so… i don’t know. she really puts me off. maybe it’s her voice? or the way she interacts (don’t want to do a spoiler for those who haven’t seen the episode from this past sunday, so i won’t say more).

  8. Maria

    I thought the same thing about Tara having that one experience in college. In real life I would not want to judge anyone who is a multiple. But I can on TV. I know Maggie all ready said this too but it just doesn’t fit.
    The truth is that I don’t actually know any other multiples than us so I only know what I can read and what I hear on this site. And I guess each one of us has our own experience. I think there were two books written by people with DID who were multiples…aside from the 3 faces of eve and sybil…these were by people living with this. And the one I do remember reading was very depressing to me.
    There was someone once who was a film maker and professional psychologist or psychotherapist (can’t remember which) anyway he wanted to do research to present a more accurate picture of life with this and I thought of contacting him and then I decided not to do it.
    But it would be good if someone could write about our everyday life that doesn’t present us as poor pathetic souls or something.

  9. chariots

    I have a feeling that the boarding school story – isn’t the whole story. If it’s anything like my process of discovery – some of the more recent things surfaced first – some of the things that I always remembered and that didn’t seem so terrible. As I’ve gone along, more alters have surfaced, and younger and deeper hurts surfaced.

    So – I wouldn’t be surprised if this is just beginning to scratch the surface. We can only handle so much information (which is why we have DID to begin with) – so it makes sense that the process of discovery would start with something like a “boarding school” incident.

    In one of the previous episodes – Charmain jokingly threw out vaginal electro-shock….

  10. Mary

    I missed the Charmain line. Hmmm.
    You are absolutely correct though that we can only handle so much information at a time.
    And things surfaced for me after an incident as an adult that was overwhelming. From that one incident and the emotional response many memories and discoveries happened but very SLOWLY.

  11. Epiphany

    Decent show but makes me a bit irritable. All the people of Tara are blatant, visual, easy to ‘spot’. Not been my experience, or that the others have been rude and mouthy in a way that I wouldn’t, mostly, which is unlike the show, but then we don’t talk to each other much and I’m usually the one ‘out’. I think, can usually tell when someone else is lurking. Anyway, if it was that blatant, would’ve been caught by now. Well, obviously caught, there’s been a few wtf moments from others. The show sort’ve gives the idea that mpd is easily spotable. I also find it a bit iffy that Alice let Gimmie’s name slip.

  12. Mary

    I’m sorry but I must be missing some parts( no pun here) of the show or at least some important lines. When did Alice let Gimmie’s name slip?

    For me I am not that blatant either. I am not out to anyone. And it makes me wonder then how people experience me and the others within me. My therapist said he finds most of us “the same and different” both. I always wondered if I came out how would I and the others be seen by people in my life or even people I just meet.

    Everyone in Tara’s TV spots her because of the way she dresses and her they all have names that the family knows. Anyway, I think I get caught up in this show becaue its the first presentation that doesn’t make us look like poor desparate souls living most of our life in agony.

  13. jigsaw analogy--ellis

    my experience with switching is that pretty much no matter how obvious i am about things, if someone doesn’t already know i’m multiple, they just don’t notice. it’s not how people think of things, you know?

    it’s not like i switch so dramatically that people would be forced to notice, but once someone knows i’m multiple, most people can spot a switch unless i’m paying a lot of attention to covering it up. but i have always switched a lot, for nearly 30 years before i knew i was multiple, so i guess it was just kind of how people experience collective-me. and i learned to just act like it was normal, and people will follow my cues about that.

    i think the bit with alice letting gimme’s name slip was in the preview for this week’s episode.

    i actually really appreciate the fact that tara’s parts are easy to spot. it makes it easier for the uninitiated, i guess. and i like the idea that they’re presenting, that there’s nothing wrong with tara being open about what’s happening to her. i guess it’s part of my own stuff, being tired of trying to stay closeted. i’m not being as obvious as tara, but i’m deciding to do things like stop hiding evidence that i live with parts. i mean, why not just be open about who i am, when i’m at home? why should i have to be hiding it, when it doesn’t hurt anyone else? or so i sometimes think. other times, i still cover it up. (but one example of not hiding is that different parts made their own wii characters, and i didn’t have any cover story for that. so when our friends come to play wii with us, they see me picking out a mii that looks like whoever is actually out does, on the inside. not the same as changing an outfit every time i switch, but i switch a dozen or so times a day, and i hate doing laundry!)

  14. chariots

    Ok – Sunday’s show turned me into a pumpkin (one way I call it when I shift). Got all heavy headed at the end – and then heard my voice sound different when trying to speak my husband and mother (who was visiting)….. thank God she didn’t watch most of that last show! Intense on many fronts.

    One thought I have – is that I think this show is making me feel more ok about myself. Like it’s ok to be this way. More settled. …. this is real, this is me, and though I want to change in certain respects, this is ok. There’s something really good about this show – in bringing more peace to me, about myself. Unexpected. I mean, I knew I was uncomfortable with myself – but it feels so normal to feel so uncomfortable – that it’s very noticeable that I’m now feeling MORE comfortable – with me. Hmmmm. Nice…..

  15. chariots

    I guess the last show is coming up tomorrow, for this season. I still think they’ve done a pretty good job overall – it being TV and all.

    I have a hard time imagining though, that her abuse occurring at 16, is the reason she has DID. By definition, I don’t think that’s even possible. In order to dissociate and develop personalities, you need to be 8 or under – to have experienced trauma then, when your brain wasn’t fully developed yet.

    So it will be interesting to see where they take this. Will they suggest that she only experienced abuse at 16 and that’s why she has DID? …. based on foreshadowing, and how they depicted her parents and sister though, I have a feeling trauma will show up when she was younger too.

    Not only that – but if they consulted with Dr. Kluft or anyone else on the matter – they couldn’t let the 16 year old incident be the only one.

    Next season will show I guess – don’t think anything will be showing up this season for it.

  16. jigsaw analogy--ellis

    i’m also pretty happy with how they handled things on the show. and i agree with the trauma probably having happened earlier, particularly since gimme first showed up when her parents came to visit.

    i’m really glad they are going to have a second season. i’m looking forward to seeing that.

  17. chariots

    a-HA! The 16 yr old incident isn’t all there is….

    Ok – that was the last show of the season last night (well, this week it will keep showing). I have to say – waiting till 2010 seems like too long! I feel like I’ll miss her, miss Tara, miss this “friend” on TV.

    That’s how I felt about books I’ve read too – multiple’s stories/bios – I feel like I’m sitting with a friend when I read their books. I feel understood. I feel less alone.

    Anyhow – I’m glad the show did so well and is coming back next year. And I’m sad that it’s a year before we get to see her again! Bummer. I also still feel frustrated that the show is only 1/2 hour. It could so easily be longer than that.

    So I can whine or be thankful. I’m thankful the show exists and will exist again next year. It’s been really great. Tara comes up in therapy alot. She’s been helpful/useful, even if there are over the top elements.

  18. jigsaw analogy--ellis

    it really was a good episode to make me eager for the next season. i’ve been pretty happy with this show, even though i agree that it really ought to be longer than half an hour. although i like their approach of developing the story slowly, so that while each half-hour episode is self-contained, they don’t try to resolve too much, so it doesn’t feel trite.

    i also wish they’d bring out the next season in the fall, rather than in january (i *hope* it’s january!) a little bit, i wish we’d just gone ahead and waited until it came out on dvd, so we could watch the episodes back to back. i might talk w into switching to showtime on demand, which is cheaper and where you get the episodes a week early.

    and i LOVED that final scene in the bowling alley. it was really great.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Blue Captcha Image
Refresh

*