How can we recognize triggers, or that we’re being affected by a trigger, BEFORE it causes problems? Or is that even possible?
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
It often seems like once I recognize that I’ve been triggered, it’s already too late. I’m already “drowning” and there’s no getting out or turning back or coming to the surface till it’s all “done”.
I think the thing I’ve learned to do that’s helped me most – is to let it happen, and not get all upset about it. It’s happened at the wrong times and in the wrong places, and I’ve learned to start letting go of looking or being a certain way. If I get “seen” while triggered, then so be it. This is me everybody – here I am for real, love me or leave me.
I can say though, that most of the time – I have NOT been at work when something has happened. And when I was – I’ve been able to pretty much tell someone that “I have to go – I feel horrible” – and run out of the building and into my car, even drive a little ways till I’m away. And then I fall into myself and turn into some kind of pumpkin. So, I’ve been able to delay it when I feel the shroud engulfing me, get away, and breakdown in some other place.
So – no – I haven’t been able to recognize or stop triggers from affecting me. I have only been able to accept that I turn into a pumpkin at crazy times sometimes, and “this is me folks – this is who I am right now.”
in situations like work, i think it’s helpful that i’m multiple. i’m not sure how things would have happened if i were a singleton, but being multiple, one part can be ferociously triggered while other parts keep functioning.
but in situations that i subconsciously recognize as “safe,” it’s harder to keep the stuff at bay. so that can be a pain.
one thing i’ve been noticing over the past few months is that being more aware of my past–actually allowing the memories to surface, and accepting that those things were bad–helps to defuse the triggers. it’s not like a magical thing where all of a sudden they stop hurting, but being more aware of what happened makes it a little easier for me to say, “ok, this *reminds* me of the past, but there are parts of the past that i’m terrified of, and *those* things aren’t happening.”
an easy example would be having my partner mad at me. i get triggered from that, which i think is pretty common. but i’ve been able to cope better as i’ve realized that she can be mad without making threats or hurting me. but it took being able to remember, “oh, right, *this* happened when i was growing up; it wasn’t the *mad* that was scary, it was the rest of what happened that has me terrified.”
at least, i hope that it’s the going through the memories that is helping, because that’s the main thing my therapist is doing, and if it’s just luck that i haven’t been triggered as badly in a while, well, then i’m throwing away a lot of time and money. 🙂