Talk about any sense that you have, that you have to prove yourself to outsiders, or justify your existence.
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
Well, I think I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to meet others’ expectations, without really knowing what my own expectations were.
I think I’ve also tried not to make too much of a “dent” – meaning, make sure my existence doesn’t ruffle anyone’s feather’s too much, or get in the way, or cause someone else to have to do something. I notice this more as I live with someone who doesn’t seem to mind making dents everywhere.
I think I’ve spent lots of time stressing over whether I will let someone(s) down or help them, etc. So I’m probably trying to prove myself in there somewhere.
i struggled for a long time with believing that i had to be different from how i am for people to accept me. mostly, it was about not needing help from people, and giving *them* lots of help.
what’s interesting is that i’ve realized over the past year or so that people actually seem to like me *better* when i am willing or able to accept help from them.
The message I got as a kid was “you need to be like us.” No validation of my own reality. I spent years filling other people’s expectations. I never took pride in my accomplishments because I was never really doing it for myself. Right now in T we are talking about reasonable expectations for myself, MY expectations, so I can choose to live how I want. This is really hard to do and it is scary. I’m not sure what I want or who I am.