Talk about either of these issues. The original question at group was: What does it mean if I have flashbacks but all I see is black? This spurred discussion about how people experience flashbacks.
New Landscape ~ DID/MPD Support Group
New York support group for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) / Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD)
Holy Crap! I Black Out in my Dreams! When I’m Asleep!!
Then my Therapist Hypnotized me and I Blacked Out under hypnosis, too! It’s the Creepiest Feeling!
I always had what I call “Micro-Fugues”. Instead of the grand-mal Amnesiac Fugue where one personality would take over and move to another city and own the body for months or years, my Micro-Fugues are brief periods, rarely ever more than fifteen minutes long where my head is completely empty and the body is waiting for any one of the alters to take control. It usually happens when none of the personalities have any desire to “drive”, or “be up front”.
wow – we were just describing this to our therapist the other day…. that sometimes it seems like no one is in charge of the body. the body is just limp and is just there and it’s like no one is home. and ya, it feels everyone is in the trunk of the car or something and no one is taking the wheel. and like it wouldn’t matter what anyone did to the body because we just aren’t even there. or aren’t close to the surface at least. like being in a submarine way down under.
we get those, too, although i’m never sure if it means that no one is out front, or just that i’m not hearing them. i think both or either could be true. i mean, i know sometimes that i’ll feel really spaced out, but i’m pretty sure someone else is there. but other times, it’s just zoning, while parts are arguing about who should be out, or zoning while no one in particular is out.
i’ve never had more than a few weeks between switches, if that long. i know there are parts who would totally go off and have one of those dissociative fugue things, change our life entirely without anyone’s consent. well, they fantasize about it anyways. i’m not sure if they’d really do it even if they could.
One time when I was younger I went out drinking at a bar with a friend of mine. My marriage was crashing and burning in a horribly painful way for me so naturally, I drank to get Trashed. My friend eventually noticed that I was so loaded I was having trouble speaking and walking and offered to take my keys and drive me home. By the time we got to my car, one of my alters emerged, sent the drunk one back into the sub, introduced herself to my astonished friend telling him, “It’s OK, I’m not drunk anymore. I can drive fine.”
The astounding thing is she was right! As soon as she took over, the body was stone sober, even my friend noticed this! He couldn’t understand what happened but he saw me become a totally other person right in front of his eyes and that person was totally sober and able to drive! He told me the next day how astonishing it was.
I was always lucky to have really competent guard alters.