Do all DID people have a “host”?Â What do you mean by “host” if you have one?
I was interested in the different ways that people define “host.”
How I understand it, and why we generally say my system doesn’t have one, is that the “host” is the one who is the main one, in charge most of the time, or in charge of deciding which parts come out. The host would be the part that other parts integrate into. From the treatment guidelines and stuff like that that I’ve read, it’s like the host is the “real” one, and the *others* are “parts.”
Someone at the meeting described a host basically as a part who would still be a whole person if they were in their own body (something like that, anyways). And that got me thinking. Most of the parts in my system would be whole people if they got their own bodies. There are a few who are still really focused on one job, but for the most part, and certainly the ones who are out more regularly, we seem like whole people. We have different moods, we function in a variety of situations, we have our whole different approaches to the world.
Host – hmmmm……..
host = house? = the body?
I know I am the “host” – exactly why? I don’t know. Trying to work on being a better host though!
Really though – I am the one that is out the most. I’m the one who thinks this is MY body and why do all these aliens keep coming out of it!? I’m the one who holds the external jobs and interacts with the ‘real’ world. I’m the one who most other people believe is “chariots” (not my real name of course). Most of the people in my life and in my world believe it is only me in here.
I am the host. That’s all I know.
interesting. there are a lot of different parts in my system who think they are the “real” one, and most of us interact with the “real” world to one degree or another (although the littles are often slightly back unless we know the person we’re interacting with).
we do tend to think of our body as something like a house… it’s where we live, and we recognize that we share it. one of the adults once said that having to cope with being multiple was like all of a sudden discovering that a bunch of other people were living in your house, and had been for years and years. in some ways, it was a relief–you aren’t crazy, you don’t have poltergeists, someone is coming in and changing things when you aren’t there–but it also leads to some resentment, if you’d thought your house was all yours, and then there are all these other people in it!
I figure the host is the one who was having “problems” and sought out a therapist.
The one who is having trouble relating to the outside world and its many relationships in the way he/she would like it to be. This person did not know about the many parts inside him/her and is now trying to come to terms with it, acknowledge and honor each part, and eventually feel enough connection to each other that he/she can be that person and not need therapy.
Actually, far from the host choosing who is out… The host usually doesn’t know about the other parts. The host is the one that presents to the world as “the person”. The host loses time, etc. While “parts” usually are aware of each other’s comings and goings and existence to varying degrees.
I have a system that seems to be full of twisty corridors and no one really knows who’s around the bend.
Technically I think I’m the host, but I think that the others might think so too. 😉
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
Notify me of new posts by email.